Work Like You Need the Money

The other day my boyfriend told me he "can't afford me." Now, any woman knows that's a compliment -- I obviously have expensive tastes! But the truth is, lately, I can't afford me either. It seems like money is just slipping through my fingers and yet, I have no cute clothes, shoes or accessories to show for it. Ok, well maybe a couple pairs of shoes but not nearly as many as I would like.

So where's it all going? Well according to my bank statement, it's all going to Moe's, Chick Fil A and Target. Not exactly glamorous. This led to my first realization about the grown-up world: food is expensive. When I lived at home all I had to spend my money on was what I wanted; clothes. I remember the places I used to shop at in high school and flinch when I think of all the money I used to spend! I wore nicer clothes when I was seventeen than I do now at twenty-one and didn't think a thing of it.

But back to food; it's undeniable that eating out is an incredibly expensive habit, whether you're eating at Chops or Panera. Unfortunately, eating out seems to have become the only acceptable form of social interaction between sorority girls. And yes, contrary to popular belief, we actually love to eat. Sure, we may whine about how many calories we're consuming while we shove chips dripping in queso into our mouths but that doesn't seem to stop us. So the problem is, try as I might to restrain my own eating out during the week by packing my lunch instead of going out or waiting until I get home to eat no matter how starving I am on the way home from work, every weekend all my well-intentioned plans are ruined when one of my friends suggests margaritas at El Amigo Friday night and then lunch at Fresh to Order on Saturday.

I blame this lunching ladies obsession on Sex and the City. What are the four girls doing in almost every scene? Eating somewhere, from lunch to dinner to just drinks! And what is my generation of young women obsessed with? Imitating Sex and the City. We seem to conveniently forget how unrealistic their lifestyles are in our pursuit of designer shoes, handsome men and other glamorous goods.

So what's a girl to do? Stop having lunch with her girlfriends? Sure I could suggest staying in and drinking wine while watching a movie (I'll give you one guess which movie) but then again, that costs money too. The solution I seemed to have settled on is to get a job. My job at the clothing store gives me a little money to play around with but it still doesn't seem like enough. This constant feeling of wanting what's outside of my means has really driven me to work hard in college to ensure that I can get a real job with a real salary that will support my social and shopping habits. Yes you heard me right, I'm planning on making my own money instead of spending my future husbands! (Pause for the shock that the rest of my sorority is experiencing).

Lesson Learned: "I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." -- E.E. Cummings

Lady Luck

The idea that you "make your own luck" has always appealed to me. It reminds me of the way karma works and I can't even tell you how many times my mom has held me while I've cried and told me "what goes around, comes around." That's always been a reassuring thought -- that those mean girls who pulled down your skirt in the lunch room in 7th grade will end up living in a trailer park married to a guy named Billy Bob. Ok, so I don't know that will happen for sure, but I just like to picture it.

So lately, I feel like I'm cashing in on all those awful years I spent in the hell hole we call adolescence. I may be jinxing it by saying this (did I mention I'm also superstitious?), but things just seem to be going my way. Yes, I may have ran into the call box outside my apartment 4 days after I got my brand new car, but when I took it to be repaired, I was dreading getting the estimate but fully prepared to pay in cash so my dad wouldn't find out about my little blonde moment, when the repairman told me I owed...NOTHING! When does that ever happen? You're broke and get a break? Answer: never. Then out of the blue, I get a promotion at work and go from being a retail sales associate to managing all the online marketing. Did I mention the amazing raise it included?

With all these wonderful things happening in my life, I can't help but think, where's the catch? Maybe I have some good karma coming my way, but Lord knows I'm not perfect either. I'm sure I've got some bad karma coming eventually. Plus, to quote Charlotte in Sex and the City, "Nobody gets everything they want." I find myself getting nervous every time I get in the car, wondering if today is going to be the day I get run off the road. Talk about morbid. That's no way to live life.

So instead of living like a paranoid crazy person, I'm just going to embrace my recent fortune, accept that it is something I deserve, but also keep in mind that things can't stay this way forever, but when they do change, it's not the end of world. As my mother always says, "Life is a ferris wheel. Sometimes you're at the top, and sometimes you're at the bottom."

Lesson Learned: "I've been lucky. I'll be lucky again." -- Bette Davis

Merry Christmas!

Celebrating Thanksgiving a few weeks ago and Christmas today got me thinking, along with millions of other Americans every year, what I have to be thankful for. 


Spend one week in a sorority house and you'll think we're all a bunch of deprived, miserable, sad, little girls. We complain about unfair teachers, the skank that stole someone's boyfriend, or the three pounds we gained that day. Don't mind the Louis Vuitton purses, Tory Burch ballet flats, and various designer dresses hanging out of every closet. It's crazy how easily we forget how truly blessed we are. I wish I could make everyone see the more important things in life, but unfortunately I think that attitude is something that begins at a very young age. All I have to do is look around at the kids I babysit in Buckhead whose mothers barely spend any time with them but make up for it with toddler-sized cashmere sweaters, matching Lilly outfits and anything else their little hearts don't even know they desire yet. Today's youth are taught to be thankful for material things and yet still aren't happy once they have them.

In today's society, it's so easy to get caught up in the "what have you done for me lately?" mindset. When a friend is short with me or a my boyfriend doesn't love the dress I spent 200 bucks on, I find myself feeling insecure, critical and defensive. When I start to feel those nasty thoughts creeping in, it's helpful to think of all the wonderful things that happened to me that month, that week or even that day. I know it sounds cheesy, but it really puts things in perspective. 

In light of this, one of my New Year's resolutions is to be more thankful for the deeper things in my life. More thankful for my health, more thankful for my loving family, and more thankful for all the opportunities that stand in front of me, that so many other 20 somethings don't have simply because of the color of their skin, their parents' income, or the country they were born in.

Lesson Learned: "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." -- Oprah Winfrey